The Humility Trap

I feel that ‘humility’ is a particularly challenging value for ADHDers to sustain, given the weight of our existing negativity bias. If one is naturally humble, it can make the task of fully recognising one's strengths an ongoing battle. This is because a humble person will naturally underestimate their strengths (or attribute them to luck or an external force). If we are too humble with ourselves, we risk letting our negative critic get out of control. For the naturally self-deprecating ADHDer, it’s a recipe for disaster.

If I continue to cherish my own humility as a virtue, I fear it could lead to me trampling all over myself. Do I really need to beat myself up more than I already do? I know my humility is a fundamental part of my integrity, but it needs to be challenged if I am to truly flourish. In order to grow as a professional and as a person, I must see my qualities for what they are and celebrate them with affection.

One must be careful to distinguish between humility and casual self-criticism. Being humble doesn’t mean discounting one's blessings. It doesn’t mean turning down praise or deflecting compliments. One can practice modesty while also maintaining a fair and honest appraisal of one’s own set of cards.

The thing is, just as I write these words, my humility builds a stubborn resistance to this. A voice inside tells me to be weary of overstepping the line into excessive pride.

But I won’t fall for that! There’s nothing wrong with being quietly confident in one's abilities, especially if they’re being extended to the service of others. That doesn’t make someone overconfident or arrogant. I can comfortably admit that my own assets are of great value to the wider world; even if at times, I’m reluctant to admit it. There! I did it, now it's your turn!

Don’t let your excessive humility hold you back from your dreams. It’s time to find your confidence and seize the day!